Hamtaro: Cannibalistic Era
by MajinBulmaRyokoMasaki
Summary: Chappy 4 Up! A twisted story about baby hamsters who killed each other....and their mother (based on actual events). Weird, isn't it? (The horror genre for horrorifically happy at some times.)
1. Chapter 1: Hamtaro's New Friend

I don't own Hamtaro, but I do own the Hamtaro wristband that I am wearing as I type this.  
  
Note : The following is a work of fiction based on ACTUAL happenings concerning REAL hamsters that my friend, Miss Mander, owned. Some details have been altered to enhance the story. The real names of these hamsters have been concealed and changed in order to protect their sad, warp-minded identities. Enjoy! ^.^  
  
Another Note : The happiness of several characters will often be overexaggerated and could at some times seem sarcastic!  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Hamtaro: Cannibalistic Era"  
  
Chapter 1: Hamtaro's New "Friend"  
  
One happy, sun-shiny day, 5th grade student Laura was skipping oh-so-happily on the sidewalk, making her way home. And just why was she feeling so much more floatier than any other special day? (As if any day could be better than this one!) The cause of this was inside a small cage she carried along with her, which contained a small, grayish colored hamster. Finally! She had a new friend for Hamtaro!  
  
When she arrived home, Laura swung open the door and made her way joyously to her room.  
  
"Hi, Hamtaro," she exclaimed, her brightness shining through her words. "Boy, do I have a surprise for you!"  
  
"Gee whiz, Laura," Hamtaro replied, even though everyone knows hamsters can't be heard by humans! "Whatever could it be?"  
  
"Teehee," giggled Laura. "It's a new friend for you!"  
  
Laura opened up Hamtaro's cage and then the one that she had brought home with her. She then took out the tiny girl hamster and stuck her in Hamtaro's cage.  
  
Hamtaro shook excitedly. "Oh boy," he thought. "Looks like a new friend!"  
  
"Golly," Laura said. "She needs a name, doesn't she?"  
  
Laura thought hard for a moment (which, everyone knows, is hard for her to do), her finger tapping against her head, as if to get her brain to work.  
  
"I know," she said, her face gleaming. "I'll name her Koala, because she looks like those oh-so-adorable koala bears! Teehee!"  
  
Laura spun around in circles, full of excited hyperness. Then, she turned on a Barry White CD (God knows why she has one..) and left the room.  
  
"Be nice to Koala, Hamtaro," she said over her shoulder and shut the door.  
  
Hamtaro turned to examine this new playmate. She seemed very quiet. Perhaps he could introduce himself.  
  
"Hi, I'm Hamtaro," he exclaimed, in his happiest voice.  
  
"Hello," Koala replied, her voice sounding not at all like a tiny hamster.  
  
Hamtaro stood there for a moment, the sounds of Barry White filling his ears. What was this feeling he had? Why was this music making him feel so...floaty? He sniffed Koala, who sniffed him back.  
  
(I don't like to get into details about such things, so let's just leave these hamsters and their Barry White music alone for a while.)  
  
~*~*~  
  
Well, do you like it? Hate it? Are you confused? Or just afraid? Please review!! Thanks! (Next chapter coming soon!) 


	2. Chapter 2: Look Mommy, The Hamsters Are ...

I don't own Hamtaro, but I do own the Hamtaro wristband that I am wearing as I type this.  
  
Note : The following is a work of fiction based on ACTUAL happenings concerning REAL hamsters that my friend, Miss Mander, owned. Some details have been altered to enhance the story. The real names of these hamsters have been concealed and changed in order to protect their sad, warp-minded identities. Enjoy! ^.^  
  
Another Note : The happiness of several characters will often be overexaggerated and could at some times seem sarcastic!  
  
(I have a feeling some of you are VERY confused about my story and the title of it. The "cannibalistic" part of the title will be in affect later....and it's not as bad as some of you might be thinking.)  
  
Ah, just so you all know, I don't watch "Hamtaro" very much at all, so I apologize if some details are incorrect.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Hamtaro: Cannibalistic Era"  
  
Chapter 2: "Look Mommy, The Hamsters Are Playing Leap Frog!"  
  
After a most delectable snack, Laura made her way happily back to her room, only to discover a rather confusing sight. She stared at the two hamsters for a moment in utter confusion, then her eyes widened with an explanation.  
  
"Look Mommy, the hamsters are playing leap frog!," Laura shouted, her eyes still fixed on the cage.  
  
"Oh, Laura, honey," Laura's mother started, walking into the room. "Hamsters don't play lea--AH! Oh my goodness!"  
  
"What's wrong, Mommy?"  
  
"Nothing, nothing," her mother replied, covering her daughter's eyes and pushing her through the doorway. "Go play in the other room right now."  
  
"Okay!" Laura skipped off, her little innocent mind not knowing what at all was truly going on.  
  
With a frustrated sigh, Laura's mother opened the cage and peered inside. She pulled them apart, only to be bitten by Hamtaro.  
  
"Oh, damn it," she exclaimed, in such an out-of-character manner. "Bad hamster; I'm afraid we'll have to just do away with you."  
  
She stuck Hamtaro in the pocket of her apron and closed the hamster cage.  
  
"Hamtaro," Koala squeaked. "Where are you going, you jerk?!?! Is this some sort of one-night stand?!?!"  
  
But Hamtaro couldn't here her, because Laura's mother had already left the room and entered the kitchen. She opened the door to the outside environment and set Hamtaro down.  
  
"I'm sorry, but this is how it's got to be; I can't have my Laura exposed to such things at such an early age! She was supposed to learn it from her friends, teen magazines, and MTV like every other child!"  
  
Hamtaro peered up at her with his saddest eyes, trying to make tears form.  
  
"Don't do that now," the adult said firmly. "I'm sorry, but this is how it's gotta be. Now shoo!"  
  
Hamtaro hurried off and ran under a bush in the yard. This wasn't happening! His life was ruined! Now what was he supposed to do?  
  
~*~*~  
  
Please review! (No flames, 'kay??) Thanks! ^.^  
  
Oh, one reviewer said "heke?" in a review. Um, not sure what you meant, please explain--thanks! ^_^ 


	3. Chapter 3: A Bloody Wound & Koala's Secr...

I don't own Hamtaro, but I do own the Hamtaro wristband that I am wearing as I type this.  
  
Note : The following is a work of fiction based on ACTUAL happenings concerning REAL hamsters that my friend, Miss Mander, owned. Some details have been altered to enhance the story. The real names of these hamsters have been concealed and changed in order to protect their sad, warp-minded identities. Enjoy! ^.^  
  
Another Note : The happiness of several characters will often be overexaggerated and could at some times seem sarcastic!  
  
Has anyone yet realized just how disturbing this fan fiction is? What makes it even more disturbing is that it's based on a true story...  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Hamtaro: Cannibalistic Era"  
  
Chapter 3: A Bloody Wound & Koala's Secret  
  
Several weeks passed and little Laura hadn't even noticed the disappearance of her first hamster, Hamtaro. The only thing she seemed concerned with these days was playing tea party with her newest hamster, Koala.  
  
"Would you like some tea, Mrs. Fluffy-Bottoms," Laura asked Koala, using the hamster's tea party character name that she made up (all by her little self!).  
  
Koala, now officially downgraded by her costume (which consisted of a pink ballerina skirt that originally belonged to a Barbie doll and a black top hat), stared at the tea set in disgust. This was the 20th time she had played this game, and she was sick of it. She wasn't even feeling that well, either, for that matter.  
  
"Why I would love some, indeed I would," Laura replied to herself, answering for Koala and changing her voice a bit to make it seem so. She then proceeded to pick up the hamster, it's outfit falling to the ground in the process. Laura squeezed Koala tightly in a hug. "I just love playing with you so much!"  
  
If hamsters expressions could be seen clearly on their faces, one would have seen a look of pure disgust on Koala's face. She was truly repulsed.  
  
"Do you love me, too," Laura asked, in her usual hyper-filled voice.  
  
Koala rolled her eyes. Why, in out of all the owners in Japan, did she have to have this one? She looked up at Laura, who had a stupid smile plastered on her face, awaiting a response. Fine, Koala would give her a response--just not the one Laura had been hoping for. A smile formed on her face (as if anyone could see a hamster smile) as she opened her mouth big and wide, then bit Laura as hard as she could on her hand. She gripped Laura's hand with her teeth and didn't let go.  
  
All at once, Laura let go of Koala and began screaming at the top of her lungs. And, even though she had let go of Koala, the hamster hadn't let go of her. Laura swung her left hand back and forth, attempting to get the hamster off of her, but it was no good.  
  
Laura's mother raced into the room shouting, "Stop, drop, & roll, Laura!", obviously thinking there was a fire. She stopped short when she saw Laura. "Oh my, goodness gracious, what on Earth is going on here?"  
  
But Laura didn't reply. She continued to shake her hand, now sore and bloody, trying to get that darned hamster off.  
  
Koala, totally amused by the situation, finally let go, causing her to fly across the room and land on Laura's bed. She laughed loudly, which sounded like many high-pitched squeaks.  
  
"Are you alright, Laura?" Laura's mother rushed over to her, inspecting her hand at once.  
  
"Mommy, my hand hurts really bad and there's cherry Koolaid rushing from it!!!" She, obviously, had never bled before.  
  
The mother picked up her screaming child and took her into the bathroom. She set Laura on the counter and started to apply bandages to her wound.  
  
"I think I know why Koala bit you, sweetie. I think she might be pregnant." Laura's mother finished up with the patching-up.  
  
"Oh, does that mean Koala is going to have kittens?" Laura hoped off the counter and ran out of the room. "Yay, kittens!"  
  
"Um, no, not kittens...," her mother started, but it was too late to finish her sentence seeing as Laura had left the room. She just shook her head and walked back to the kitchen.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Yay, kittens!"  
  
I made Laura sound SO stupid, didn't I? LOL....please review, no flames, 'kay??? Thanks! And thanks for the other reviews, too! ^.^ 


	4. Chapter 4: The Birth Of The Cannibalisit...

I don't own Hamtaro, but I do own the Hamtaro wristband that I am wearing as I type this.  
  
Note : The following is a work of fiction based on ACTUAL happenings concerning REAL hamsters that my friend, Miss Mander, owned. Some details have been altered to enhance the story. The real names of these hamsters have been concealed and changed in order to protect their sad, warp-minded identities. Enjoy! ^.^  
  
Another Note : The happiness of several characters will often be overexaggerated and could at some times seem sarcastic!  
  
Wow--there are people who ACTUALLY think this story is funny! (It's hard for me to be funny...) I thought I was gonna get flamed! ^_^ *sweatdrop* Thanks for the reviews everyone!  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Hamtaro: Cannibalistic Era"  
  
Chapter 4: The Birth Of The Cannibalisitic Hamsters  
  
One week and several more wounds later (Laura failed to listen to her mother when she said not to touch the hamster for a while), Laura entered her room after coming home from a super-duper day at school. She squealed in delight when she saw the contents of the cage.  
  
"Oh my goodness, naked kittens," she shouted. (Please excuse Laura for being so terribly stupid and naïve. She isn't really as smart as she puts on.)  
  
Actually, it wasn't at all naked kittens which scampered clumsily around the cage. They were little, naked, baby hamsters. Five of them, in fact; three boys and two girls. (One of the girls was a runt.)  
  
Scorched by the fire of excitement, Laura called her mother to her room.  
  
"Look Mommy, the hamster had babies! And I named them already!"  
  
"Really," Laura's mother said, sneaking a peek into the cage. "And what did you decide to name them?"  
  
"Well, that one there," Laura started, pointing at each hamster as she said their names. "The one that looks like the mom, I named Koala Jr. The girl that's a runt--so small, I hope she doesn't die--I named Cat 'cos she looks like a cat I had a long time ago (who, was named Cat as well... -.- )."  
  
"I see. Quite interesting names. What about the three boys there?"  
  
"Well, I ran out of names, so I called them Happy, Grumpy, & Sneezy."  
  
Laura's mother raised an eyebrow. "Aren't those some of the names of the dwarves from 'Snow White'?"  
  
"Huh," Laura asked, sticking her hand in the cage, trying to pet one of the hamsters. She only succeeded in getting bit by the overprotective mother hamster, Koala.  
  
"Nevermind." Laura's mother left the room, rolling her eyes. Didn't her daughter know ANYTHING?  
  
~*~*~  
  
Hmm, that chappy wasn't very funny. Oh well, please review! I'll write more soon! Watch for the next chapter where we get to see a baby hamster attack it's mother! YAY! ^.^ 


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